First, you must realize that Megan Fox is not actually human, but a visual representation of perfection sent to this earth to appease moviegoers around the globe. That being said, she tends to get away with many of the looks she adorns, just by being her. Fair? Of course not, but that’s life. However, while she may ooze sexiness just by looking at you, Megan Fox does not always win on the fashion front. She’s had some major hits, but also sported some serious fashion faux pas.

Let’s begin with her appearance at a Transformers press conference in Seoul back in June of this year. What was she thinking?! That ensemble is horrific! The skirt is much too full, making her hips look far larger than they really are. The belt at the natural waist isn’t helping either, because of a) location, and b) looseness. The top is equally terrible, especially with the small sliver of dark fabric peeking out of the right side. It really looks like her stylist just threw a sheet over her shoulders and tucked it into the belt. The v-shape the top is making doesn’t help the hips illusion either. This outfit is a major flop, even considering that I usually gravitate to neutrals!

Not to worry though, because Megan does take a second chance with the neutrals, out in Santa Monica in mid-August. She chose a simple, beige dress and fabulous bag. The bag looks to be leather, with beautiful craftsmanship and design. The makeup looks a bit overdone, but the outfit gets an A+. Black platform pumps cleanly finish of this look and tie in the darkness of her hair.

Airports often pose as a celebrity’s worst enemy. They are the place where people have the potential to look their worst, fatigue showing, and outfits looking more frumpy than a bag lady on 14th Street. While at London’s Heathrow airport, Megan Fox was caught looking this way. It’s a good thing for the sunglasses, because those are probably the only sign of any actual style on this look. The hat is atrocious, like the curtains out of some 1960’s camping trailer. Sure, the cardigan and handbag are not really that bad, but they are unfortunately outweighed by the unsightliness of, yes, those blue velour track pants. Velour is seriously one of the biggest crimes against fashion. Many women will claim that it’s comfortable, but looking like you’re jiggling more than Jell-o is a rather high price to pay for a little comfort. The far better choice is sweatpants by Lululemon, the Canadian yoga outfitter that makes superb clothing combining comfort and style.

Obviously not proud of her appearance at Heathrow, Megan Fox cleaned up her travel gear for her landing in New York. In America’s fashion capital, Fox adorned some gray jeans, a black tee, and a charcoal cardigan, all analogous shades of neutral tones. She also went for the fedora again, but this time chose a light straw version, bang-on with the trends this summer. Looks like someone’s done her homework now! The aviators and the flats really finish off the casual, carefree attitude of this look—definitely a winner in my book.

In the closing of this fashion trial, it would seem that the moral of the story is that no matter how famous or larger-than-life you are, style is an art. Be careful what you wear by sticking to what you know, and don’t be afraid to try new trends, whilst balancing on that fine line of avoiding becoming a fashion victim. It’s a hard task, but if you need direction, I’m sure the snarky fashionista of StyleCynics can send you the right way!

Photos courtesy Who’s Dated Who?

This guest post is by Alex, the Fashion & Features Director at Socialites Anonymous, a blog that fabulously covers fashion and style, from the runway to the home. The SA team also provides the scoop on great sample and warehouse sales. Check it out so you don’t miss out!

Paris Hilton

Her choices in clothing, men, and on-camera antics are sometimes questionable, but I have yet to see Paris in an unflattering swimsuit. Here, she’s wearing a very basic style bikini, but she keeps it fresh and stylish by wearing it in a hot-right-now neon blue, and covering it with a sheer wrap.

I don’t know about the big turquoise necklace. That can make for some weird tan lines. But overall, she looks great. Get her look with an O’Neill Solid Core tri top for $48, and theO’Neill Solid Core tie side bottom for $44, both in blue. Top it with a Tommy Bahama Sunkissed Solids Skirted Hipster Cover Up in barolo brown, just $64 an excellent complement to this shade of blue.

Gisele Bundchen

As a Victoria’s Secret model, former girlfriend to Leonardo DiCaprio, and now wife to New England Patriot Tom Brady, Gisele has become an easily recognized name in just a few short years. Although she’s mostly known for, well, just being pretty, one thing she does know how to do is wear a swimsuit.

She’s been featured in the Sport Illustrated swimsuit issue, although never on the cover. But never say never because she’s still smokin’, as you can see. Duplicate her look—at least her swimsuit; we can’t all look like Gisele—with this Hugo Boss Cano Ow bikini for $149.

Heidi Montag

Some celebrities need a little help looking good in their swimsuits. There’s been a lot of talk about Heidi’s, um, enhanced chest. I’m not into plastic surgery myself, and some celebrities go way overboard with it (hello Joan Rivers and Tara Reid), but Heidi seems to have come away from it unscathed, hopefully unscarred, and filling out her bikini top quite nicely.

As long as she avoids accessorizing her swimsuits with surgical masks, she’ll keep looking good. I do love the string bikini look, but that pattern’s a little busy. I prefer this fun and flirty Freestyle set from Roxy. Basic black with multi-colored Roxy logos all over. Cute! The Freestyle Tiki tri top is $44, while the Freestyle string bikini bottom is just $42.

Hayden Panettiere

Then there are celebrities who don’t worry about filling out their swimsuits and seem to like themselves just the way they are. Then again, Hayden’s only 19. She may change her mind later. Anyway, for now, she doesn’t seem to mind showing off her still-girlish body in a cute bikini.

In fact, she must be trying to draw attention to it since she recently got a tattoo down her left side. Too bad it’s misspelled. Do they make tattoo white out? No? Guess she’s stuck with it. But she still looks good in a bikini, especially this little zebra print number. Put your own animalistic look together with this Guess Celebrity Skin triangle top for $45, and pair it with the Guess Celebrity Skin tie side bottom for just $41

Bar Refaeli

Instantly recognizable not just for her body, but her unusual name (she’s Israeli), Bar is the most recent Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover model. She’s also dating Leonardo DiCaprio. Or she was. No she is. No wait, she was. I can’t keep up anymore. Look at her—even she’s bored with it. As an aside, does Leonardo date anyone who’s not in Sport Illustrated? Is it like a prerequisite? And how does he manage that, being so scrawny? Whatever.

Anyway, Bar looks awesome in a bikini. You can find one like hers, and you don’t even have to be in Sports Illustrated, or date Leo, to do it. And you can’t go wrong with black. A black bikini is like a little black dress for the beach. Never goes out of style, always looks good. Check out this Body Glove Smoothies triangle top for only $34, and put it together with this Patagonia Bayonne bottom for $33.95.

Eva Longoria Parker

Ok, maybe Eva needs to learn how to stand in her swimsuit so she doesn’t look quite so awkward. Then again, she probably didn’t know there was a paparazzo lurking, just waiting to capture her in an unflattering pose. Poor celebrities and the horrible strife they have to put up with, huh? I feel so badly for them. Yeah, right.

Unguarded pose aside, Eva’s rocking this monokini and not looking desperate at all. Want to try this latest swimsuit trend? Give this Volcom Knotty Not One Piece a shot. It comes in yellow and black, and the cutout sides will draw the eye in, flattering just about any figure. It’s usually $102, but right now you can get it for just $83.

Kim Kardashian

No list of celebrities in swimsuits would be complete without Kim. I’m still not quite sure why she’s famous, or why she and her family even got a reality show. Sure, her late father Robert Kardashian defended O.J. Simpson, and her stepfather is Olympic gold medalist Bruce Jenner. Speaking of going overboard with the plastic surgery…have you seen Bruce lately? Yikes. But Kim hasn’t really done anything of note herself except pose in Playboy, get booted off of Dancing With The Stars, and have her picture taken on just about a daily basis.

I still can’t figure out how she can be so busty and hippy and still have a flat stomach, either. Mind boggling. Regardless, she can wear a bikini like no other celebrity can. Even if you don’t have the same curves she does, you can still look great in a similar bikini. Try the Guess PM Python halter top for $49, and the matching Guess PM Python tie side bottom for $43.

Where No One Should Have Gone, And Should Never Go Again

The show that started it all, Star Trek, the original series (known to Trekkies as TOS) debuted in 1966 with a small special effects budget, and apparently, an even smaller costume budget. This is evidenced by one episode in particular, “The Gamesters of Triskelion” in which Kirk and other crew members are held captive on a planet by bored aliens. See, in the 60s, when you wanted to make someone look like a futuristic alien, all you had to do was dress them up in silver lamé, and spray some greenish tint on their hair. Oh, and if that alien is female, you also make the costume skimpy, and make sure the actress playing the alien has big boobs. And don’t even get me started on the little harness Kirk is wearing. I’m pretty sure William Shatner bribed TOS writers to get them to incorporate scenes where he got to take his shirt off as often as possible.

Boring, Boring Betazoid

The first spin-off of TOS was Star Trek: The Next Generation (TNG), which debuted in 1987. Lately, a lot of 80s fashions have been making a comeback, but let’s hope that none of these make the cut again. So 20 years later, the show progressed from silver lamé, green hair, and big boobs to dark grey, weird hair beads, and big boobs. As ship’s counselor Deanna Troi, Marina Sirtis wore this outfit for most of the first season. Once the show became a success and was renewed with a bigger budget, they were able to improve her wardrobe immensely, and in the second season…oh no, wait. Sorry. The lavender jumpsuit and huge curly mop wasn’t much better. Moving on.

Is That a Banana Clip on Your Face, or…

In the worst fashion accessory category, I give you LeVar Burton who played Chief Engineer Geordi La Forge. Geordi was born blind, but since it was the 24th century, technology had advanced to the point where blind people could wear prosthetics and be not just independent, but chief engineers of starships! Too bad the prosthetic looked like a banana clip. That’s because it was based on a banana clip. I guess the costume budget didn’t increase too much from TOS to TNG. Either that, or Geordi took the idea of keeping hair out of his eyes to heart.

Note to Self: Never Pick Up Hitchhikers in The Delta Quadrant

TNG was so successful, Paramount started creating spin-offs left and right. In 1995, they came out with Star Trek: Voyager about a starship that gets stuck in the Delta Quadrant and spends the next several years trying to get back to Earth. Let’s hope they didn’t bring some of the clothes back with them. Along the way, they pick up a passenger who becomes part of the crew, a Talaxian named Neelix, played very annoyingly by Ethan Phillips. One of the show’s costumers must have been browsing at an upholstery shop because this looks like a couch my aunt bought in 1978. The poor alien didn’t look goofy enough with his weird hair and yellow eyes and spotted skin. They had to dress him funny, too. Or maybe that’s Talaxian camouflage?

And Then We’re Gonna Explore Space, See? Nyah.

Ok, so TOS didn’t have a big budget and sometimes got a little silly with the costume ideas. At other times, they were resourceful. Like the time the Enterprise came across a planet whose civilization was based on a book about 1940s Chicago gangsters. What does everyone wear? Why, pinstripe suits and fedoras, of course! Never before, and never again did Kirk and Spock (portrayed ever so logically by Leonard Nimoy) look so stylish and—dare I say?—sexy. Look at Spock’s face! He could be on the cover of GQ with that smoldering look. Even though Kirk’s hat is a little on the fuzzy side, he makes up for it with those pinstripes. Hawt!

The Heart and Soul of Vulcan

While visiting Spock’s home planet, Vulcan, Kirk gets the honor of meeting one of the planet’s highest ranking diplomats, T’Pau. Apparently, Vulcans were way ahead of their time when it came to equal opportunity employment, and women were just as likely to hold high positions in government as men. T’Pau not only rocked her diplomatic status, she looked absolutely regal with her billowy-sleeved blouse, two-toned, braided hair, and jewel-topped staff. Add to that Celia Lovsky’s stoic portrayal of the revered Vulcan, and you have a kickass TOS character with a lot of style.

To Kick Ass, Or Not To Kick Ass…That Is The Question

All the Star Trek series and movies boasted several great guest stars. One of the most memorable is Christopher Plummer as General Chang in the sixth movie, Star Trek: The Undiscovered Country. Chang was a hardcore Klingon who quoted Shakespeare, but claimed to enjoy it more “in the original Klingon.” Why he had a seemingly Asian last name, I don’t know. But he was not to be trifled with. One look at him would tell you that. I don’t know whether he actually needed an eye patch or not, or if it was just for looks. Either way, the fact that he didn’t wear it with a little elastic strap but nailed it right into his skull made it the ultimate fashion statement, one that said, “Don’t mess with me.” Message received.

I’m a Borg Girl, In a Human World

No list of Star Trek fashions would be complete without mention of one of Voyager’s best known characters, Seven of Nine, played with the best monotone in the business by Jeri Ryan. I guess we can forgive the lack of inflection considering that Seven, as she became known, had been assimilated by the Borg and they apparently extracted her sense of humor when they implanted her with their cybernetic devices. I’d have to say Seven comes in first not just for most stylish costume, but for best transformation, going from Borg Blech to Borg Barbie. Of course, it was back to silver fabric and big boobs, but at least she didn’t have green hair.

The home is located in a scenic area known as Deadman’s Hole. And quite frankly it looks as though Lance Armstrong’s decorator took that name a little too literally and created one of the most depressing interiors ever. For an area that’s incredibly beautiful and throbs with life the home does nothing to enhance that feeling.

From the outside Lance Armstrong’s Dallas home is actually quite beautiful and the brown on white exterior melts nicely into the rolling landscape. But from there the brown and white motif goes a little bit too far. The first thing you notice when you look inside the home is the overabundance of brown and white and the absolute lack of color, personality and life.

On the one hand you have to give the decorator and architect for that matter some credit for carrying the theme and the style throughout the building, the exposed timbers set against the while stucco is beautiful but in a home of more than 4000 square feet it gets tedious. And the repetition of these colors throughout without a blast of brilliant color or life is depressing.

Take the kitchen and dining area for instance. Even the photos in the kitchen are black and white and rather than sticking to the three colors in a scheme rule, it seems as if they’ve tried to use light as the third color to balance the brown and white. Either that or the realtor taking the pictures was so depressed by the dark and blah atmosphere that he or she decided to turn on every single light in the room to make it seem more lively and exciting. We do have to note that over the fireplace in the dining area there is a piece of artwork that does add a bit of color but it’s a muted color where an acid infused red or purple would have been so much more provocative.

The TV area or cinema room is just as drab. It’s understandable that the screen should grab all the attention in this room, but the screen is not even placed at an optimal viewing level as its set too low on the floor as optimal viewing should be slightly above eye level when sitting. Again there is a lame attempt at pops of color with some muted rose colored throw pillows but the muted color is again lost and completely boring.

Before we even hit the bedroom its pretty clear what we’re going to see. Brown and white, exposed beams and white walls, brown bedding and curtains with a pop of muted color in a red tone. And that’s exactly what we see, this time the muted color shows up on the nightstands in the form of lamps. Boring! Shouldn’t the bedroom be a little bit more inviting, especially considering the women Lance Armstrong has been linked with, you’d expect a lot of pizzazz and spice?

Speaking of spice, this would have been an excellent way to create excitement and a sense of life in this drab home, something you’d expect a world class athlete and cancer survivor to appreciate. Spice colors work incredibly well with a natural environment as they’re very nature bound themselves. Rich cinnamon browns and rusts, deep greens of leafy herbs, saturated reds of paprika, the varied hues of mustard, there are so many colors to choose from that would have kept the home’s architectural integrity while giving it life.

If redecorating this home seems like a challenge you’d love to attempt and you have a spare $12 million hanging around then this Dallas home could definitely use your love and passion for life and it would turn into something truly amazing.

Photos courtesy home-designing.com

This article has been a guest post by Mike Caldwell, social media strategist for Bari Leather Furniture. You can read more of his articles such as Leather Furniture Styles – From Bari Leather Furniture, or Shopping For Leather Furniture – Bari Leather Furniture. or you can follow him on the new Bari Furniture Twitter Profile.